... according to the Sunday Times... (blue text by them, purple added by me)
1 GOLD HOOP EARRINGS For days when you wanna look J.Lo glam. These shouldn’t be so big as to look like you haven’t got over the gypsy trend, nor so small as to make you look like a three-year-old on a council estate.
Seems I have failed already. No gold hoop earrings in this British girl's jewellery box. But seeing as I have only ever had one day when I wished to look J.Lo glam (and that was at a fancy dress party with the dress code Bling Bling) I suppose I am not missing out. My earring taste is a lot more subtle. Pearls, shells, that sort of thing.
2 A BERET For bad-hair days. It will take you straight to Kim Basinger in Batman. Just don’t obsess about the angle: they should be worn with nonchalance.
Gosh, not getting off to the best start am I? Berets to me are less Kim Basinger, more too old for CCF. Beanies or trilbies are my hat of choice these days.
3 A VINTAGE OSSIE CLARK DRESS Separates the women from the girls. Fabulously flattering at any age, from 18 to 80.
Doesn't so much separate the women from the girls as the haves and have-nots. Do you know how much a vintage ossie clark dress costs? Well, Shikasuki, my favourite vintage shop, sells them. I tried one on when wedding dress shopping. Thankfully it didn't fit - it was £750 for an ankle length crepe dress which made my (size 8-10) hips look fat. Beautiful, yes. Fabulously flattering, I think not.
4 EXPENSIVE BLACK LACE LINGERIE At least one set. For obvious reasons.
Finally, something I do own. Although it depends on your definition of 'expensive'. For obvious reasons.
5 A PAIR OF THERMAL SHORTS For when you want to wear a skirt without tights, but it’s a bit parky outside.
What? OK, who is writing this? This is England. If it's cold you wear tights. Even in August. Thermal shorts? Never even heard of them and I thought I knew about these things...
6 SILK STOCKINGS A rite of passage for every woman — and, subsequently, for her man. In slightly unusual shades — such as petrol or burgundy — they make an outfit. And in this country they can be worn for three-quarters of the year.
Exactly - so why the need for (5)? Mine actually happen to be burgundy (and are tights, but near enough).
2/67 A DECENT TRENCH COAT Some people are scared of trenches because they look fussy — they’re not. Everyone from Burberry to M&S does them, so there’s no excuse.
I think I need to go shopping... Actually, this is something which I have been trying to buy for a while but can never find anything I am satisfied with at a price which is agreeable. Although sister-in-law to be recommends the ones from Ted Baker.
8 A LEATHER JACKET It should be cropped and fitted nicely around your waist. Takes you from a gig to the supermarket via your mum’s and a first date. Enough said.
Aha. I have one of these. Very useful and actually a lot warmer than I thought it would be. Mine is dark bottle green as I thought it would be nice to own something that wasn't black and has a nipped in ruched waist.
9 A GOOD WALLET Because if a bag matters, so does your purse — and people see it all the time. Jimmy Choo’s, we feel, are particularly well thought-out.
It isn't Jimmy Choo but it is decent. Nice leather, size of a small clutch bag, holds everything. I love it. Makes me smile every time I use it. A decent investment at London Fashion Weekend several years ago.
10 A PAIR OF FALSIES (eyelashes, that is). Instant divadom.
Mine are so long that they are like wearing sun visors, only a mini pair for each eye. Best kept for festivals and the like as they are rather OTT. The smaller pair I had reached a sorry end on a fantastic Audrey Hepburn themed hen weekend in Bath...
11 A VINTAGE DRESS One that’s seen much better days — for being very trashy in.
That's more like it... yes, I have several of these, mostly from the aforementioned Shikasuki although a couple from my mother's wardrobe via the old dressing up box. My favourite is bright emerald/turquoise silk shift which is just trashed enough you don't mind wearing it but fab enough that it looks the part.
12 A PAIR OF MAD SUNGLASSES They should be too mad to go on a date in, but just mad enough to feel liberated.
Tick. In fact, I have such a small face that all sunglasses look slightly mad on me. My favourite pair is a pair of RayBan aviators which are enormous but still look cool...
7/1213 A SHORT, BLACK BOB WIG Check out of you-ness and be Louise Brooks for the day.
Nope, can't say I have one of these? Does anyone? I rather prefer my own long-ish, blonde-ish hair thanks.
14 A STRING OF REAL PEARLS OR REAL PEARL EARRINGS Great for the complexion, as they diffuse light across your face.
Tick. Not much else to say about pearls is there?
15 A T-SHIRT DRESS One you’ve had since you were 22. Just throw it on and go.
Many of these - mostly from American Apparel who make the best ones. Just right for a summers night raving at Fabric.
16 A PAIR OF MEN’S BROGUES For looking playfully serious.
There are lots of these in our house but M wears them so well that I leave that look to him...
9/1617 SOMETHING DELICATE AND ANCIENT It must be kept in acid-free tissue paper — anything made of Victorian lace, for example.
I think my turquoise 60s style hat fits this. In it's original hat box too.
18 DEREK ROSE FLANNEL PYJAMAS For spending Sundays and sickies in.
Sickies - what are those?! No derek rose pyjamas for me, I still wear my old teddy bears ones which I've had since my early teens when I am ill...
11/1819 WHITE CORDS Less flash than white denim, more elegant than jeans. Wear with a navy pea coat, and you are Jackie O.
White trousers, yes, black cords, no. White cords are still too a little Elizabeth Hurley for me. Either that or Boden mummy...
20 A KHAKI PARKA Just like the one Kate Moss wore with those Westwood boots in 2000. Never goes out of style, always looks cool — whatever anyone says.
Yep, got one of those. Doesn't everyone? Good old 'primarni'...
21 GREEK SANDALS Ones that age beautifully and last for ever.
I suppose, technically, since mine are Massimo Dutti they are not Greek but they are in style and spirit. Plain enough to wear to work with a summer dress, fab enough that they go with anything. I barely take them off in summer yet already they are back in their box for next year.
22 BOLD STATEMENT HEELS Six inches? Toe cleavage? Huge platform? Orange PVC? Perfect. Shoes that get people talking. And never stop.
I don't actually tend to go in very much for plain shoes - so all mine are statement pieces one way or another. See wedding shoes for confirmation...
23 A BLACK CASHMERE ROLLNECK If you must wear basics, console yourself with luxury. Audrey Hepburnesque and great with jeans and minis.
Well, it's a black roll neck, at any rate. Goes with everything especially to work.
24 HAIRSPRAY (ELNETT) AND KIRBY GRIPS For dramatic evening up-dos.
Not much more to add to this, is there?
17/2425 A CAMEO BROOCH These are practical, but always remarkable, and their colours don’t clash with outfits — unlike jewelled brooches.
Not a fan of brooches really. I prefer a statement necklace or scarf...
26 BOAT NECKS If you have a strong collarbone, show off this alternative erogenous zone.
Looks better on my skinny frame than some styles... I prefer mine in jersey rather than jumper material as I think they hang better. My favourite is by C & C California.
27 A WATCH Needn’t be expensive, but should either have a small face and a fabric or leather strap; or be chunky and sporty — aka the “boyfriend watch”.
I think some people are watch people and some people are not. I am NOT. I rarely wear one, mainly because I refuse to spend much money on one and consequently it is always broken. Has nothing to do with my inability to be on time...
18/2728 JAPANESE DARK DENIM JEANS Very simple, narrow, but not skinny, wide or bootcut. Never, ever wash them.
Mine are actually Topshop but same overall affect. Haha. Looks good with a grey jumper.
29 A SLIGHTLY-TOO-SHORT LCD (little coloured dress). Black is okay, but purple (see Michelle Obama), red or jade are better.
The same one that falls under the vintage dress category above.
30 A COLOSSAL COCKTAIL RING For when you need instant cheer.
I have a red one from Shikasuki but these days I find my engagement ring does the same job...
21/3031 DECENT WELLINGTON BOOTS Le Chameau, Argyll and Hunter all pass muster. Never be caught in a shiny novelty pair — you will be outed as a novice in an instant.
A novice what? Mine are dark purply-blue and are Hunters. I love them: the most comfortable boots I have ever worn. Essential for festivals (I wore mine the entire weekend at Camp Bestival despite a lack of rain or even mud) and good for Sunday afternoon walks in the country as well, as they are not so bright they will frighten cows.
32 LEATHER DRIVING GLOVES. For looking murderously chic. Get them from the high street — no point spending a fortune, as gloves are so easily lost.
Tick. Marks & Spencer's outlet village. When you wear a suit to work you don't want to be let down by orange cashmere ones...
33 A BRETON TOP Insouciant, witty, timeless, French, sexy.
I have a couple but am careful when to wear them as it is my Mother's signature style.
34 CASHMERE SOCKS It’s not a style thing, it’s a love thing: a love-yourself thing.
One of my favourite things about winter...
35 A SILK SQUARE It can serve as a belt, a neckscarf, a duster — and as a headscarf, is just perfect for autumn bike rides.
My favourite was my mother's. also looks good tied on a handbag or round the brim of a hat.
36 A HIDDEN TATTOO The element of surprise is essential.
Nope, none. Hidden or otherwise. I just can't imagine finding something I wanted written on my body for the rest of my life
26/3637 RUBY SLIPPERS Just the one pair?
Mine are actually pink. And there are 2 pairs. One pair has silk flowers on. Never fails to cheer me up.
38 A GREY HOODIE Otherwise you’ll look like you were never a teenager.
It's not grey but does have the Rage Against the Machine logo on. A favourite teenage keepsake which I still wear. Takes people by surprise that a blonde 20 something almost lawyer still loves her heavy music!
28/3839 A FAMILY HEIRLOOM Bracelet, brooch or diamond-set watch — to ignite conversation.
Sadly none as yet. Although that can also be seen as a good thing.
40 A SHAG-ME BRA To be seen peeking out from your top.
Hmmm. Not a fan of visible underwear. But yes, I do own a couple...
29/4041 A PAIR OF GOLD LAME LEGGINGS Because you never know when you might be called upon to go dancing, and it’s hard to keep up with what the kids wear in clubs these days.
Nope. Never. I don't even own a pair of leggings. Boring...
42 A TINY DECADENT EVENING BAG It should only have space for a note and a credit card.
I have a gold sequined one from Granny.
43 SOMETHING FROM CHANEL Anything at all.
Not yet; I am working on it...
44 A PAIR OF FAKE SPECTACLES For last-minute librarian chic.
Who needs fake ones when you can have the real thing?
No fur stole, fake or otherwise, much as I would like one. Maybe I will keep looking in the vintage shops as I could never buy one new.
45 A FUR STOLE Fake works fine. Guaranteed to elicit attention when worn flung over shoulders with red lipstick.
46 A BROWN LEATHER TOTE These look better the more battered and bruised they get.
My work bag. A firm favourite.
47 A BIG, PATTERNED, WOOLLEN SCARF Something hippie-ish you can swathe yourself in come rain or shine. The best are bought on holiday and have bright and pretty colours. Will take a T-shirt and jeans to stylish and original levels.I own many, many of these. I can't remember a holiday when I didn't return with a new one. My favourites though are limited to two: the red and gold silk knitted one with peacock feathers that my father brought back from China and a grey & red woven one that my sister found for me in Vietnam.
48 A TEA DRESS The greatest thing to come out of the 1940s — utterly wearable and endlessly flattering. Vintage numbers are always best.
I have one which is my wedding outfit standby. That worked better when I went to fewer weddings where the guests were a different set of friends each time.
49 A 100% SILK SLIP Like the one Rachel from Friends wore on her date with Joshua. Every girl needs one for night-time. A pain to wash, but totally worth it.
I don't remember that Rachel's one but I am a fan of mine, especially in summer.
50 SPANX Because, sigh, we all have days when we need them.
Not yet, thankfully...
35/50 (70%): I think I should stop shopping.